honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
