We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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