Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
