tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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