I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
