did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
