I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
