Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
