My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize