a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
