No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
