that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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