At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
either way he was missing a nipple.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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