I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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