I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
