I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Randomize
