I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
