I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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