the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
