OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
