Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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