she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
