i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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