Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
