she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
