Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
