Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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