Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
