You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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