Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
