I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
