What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
