I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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