No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
