I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
