Your mouth is God's brothel.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
