you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
