so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
