she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
