3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
