As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
