oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
