What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
