Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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