so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude i'm inner monologue high
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
