return my video game
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
