So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
