he thought i was a dude.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Ketchup is God's man juice
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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