Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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