They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
