She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
