ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
