Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
