You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
