She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
