your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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