I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
