Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
